Todd D. presented a summary of some of the lessons that he teaches in a course he is leading, called Minfulness Based CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). He calls this Emotional Recalibration.
His opening paragraph from his course syllabus states: "When the indignities of life throw us into a stressful mire, we have a choice either to remain stuck in our fearfulness or to calibrate our response in a more peaceful direction. These stressors occur many times each day and each time we have a choice to either remain fretful or to recalibrate. Rememberiing Peace of mind is my one and only goal. I choose to recalibrate!"
Todd has kindly provided a copy of this syllabus in our email. as an atachment. Today at our Spirit Mind Body, we discussed a few of the premises presented in this course.
The first premise is Peace of Mind is a choice I make.
I recalibrate to return to peace by turning my attention to my breath in two steps. First noticing my breath and then choosing to follow it in and out, noticing thoughts but bringing the attention back to the breath. This produces peace and with practice, it may only take a cycle of three such observed breaths to bring about peace. This Spirit Mind Body group is committed to finding peace through this mindfulness practice. We do it on our own and we do it for 20 minutes before our weekly meetings.
The Maranatha chant which is a Christian based mantra will also work for this practice. Maranatha is Aramaic for Come Lord. One recites this chant to one self very slowly breathing in on the Ma, out on the Ra, in on the Na, and again out on the Tha syllable. One repeats this mantra slowly at one's own pace. The length of the syllables is ideal for this breathing meditation and seems to promote spiritual goals and peace, while relaxing the autonomic nervous system.
One might think that he/she has no time for these breathing practices. But one might also say "I have no time to put gas in my car." But as we all know, we must and we make time to gas up our car. Similarly we must make time to do these practices. There is a site on the web where a random or timed mindfulness bell can be set to give you a signal to do the 3 breath cycle practice throughout the day. That site is mindfulnessdc.org.
Gloria K (though not at the meeting) has suggested in the past that there is a Yiddish word, kvelling, which is a moment of a feeling similar to joy or gratitude that compares to the immediate feeling we get when a small child that is dear to us enters the room. We smile, feel joy, we Kvell. We should produce that feeling voluntarily throughout our day.
The second lesson Todd D wanted us to consider is the following: Things are not the way we see them.
Our perceptions are very biased. And human relationships are very complex. Even something as simple as running into someone in the hall and not getting recognition or a greeting from them can be misinterpreted in multiple ways. We are not walking in that other person's shoes. We usually tend to egocenticize (if this is a word) and interpret everything as though we were the center of the universe. We must remember this tendency to misinterpret and seek the truth before making conclusions that create anger and stress.
Another lesson from the course is The world I see does not victimize me.
We often believe the world is out to get us. We have learned that self-pitying stance from our childhood. But it often makes its way into our adult world. There is one way to get out if this stance if it lasts more than an hour. Journal about it to try to find out where we learned this self-pity and from whom so that we may let this behavior go and return to peace. Ann S introduces some good advice from DayCare: The teacher would be distributing craft materials, or food, or crayons and of course the child would complain that he/she got the wrong color, a smaller piece than his neighbor or whatever --- The Advice. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Kids think this little saying is funny, they laugh, which defuses the situation. Maybe we can apply this to our adult sources of anger and frustration.
Next lesson: He/She who suffers is not really I.
This falls into the same category as the lesson above. Someone taught me to suffer. We all suffer and when we do we are repeating a relationship in which we suffered before. I may need to journal until I find out who that was. It is well known that writing some of these things down can change our brain chemistry. The source might have been more than one person. Then I can blame tham and forgive them for teaching me something that is a waste of time and energy. Taking 3 breaths and recalibrating will then often get us out of this frame of mind. With this technique you discover that you are no longer a child and you no longer lack control. You are in control. You can choose peace of mind. But it is worth it to find out where this suffering came from. It is worth it to discover the context.
To see some of these things put forward in the unfolding of a life, find the Steve Jobs' commencement address to Stanford in 2009 by googling his name and this speech.
All stress is anger, either holding on to anger directed at someone else or at yourself. Holding on to a grudge potentiates blame and this often turns inward and creates guilt. This becomes a vicious circle. Blame leads to scapegoating and guilt leads to depression. We need to get in touch with the anger, its source, the blame and express them in fantasy, then let them go and try to achieve forgiveness. We can only forgive when we are free to blame. If this blame source is repetitive, we can use Tonglin practice to try to counteract this source of daily frustration and suffering.
I suggest you print out the syllabus from Todd's course and read through it. It will provide a base for achieving Peace of Mind in your daily life.
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