Schedule:

      Greetings to all members of our Spirit Mind Body Group.
The blog is now caught up as of Jan 11, 2012. Of course tomorrow we have a meeting and I will be behind again.
I do apologize that the blog sequence is not in order by date. This is what happened when I tried to post a large number of posts in order. It didn't work. So please look back a few posts. You may find some of your favorite meetings written about but in the wrong order. Prior to Nov 17 the posts are in order. But after Nov 17, some are not chronological. That is my punishment and unfortunately yours as well for my not keeping up.

SCHEDULE for some of the upcoming weeks:

January 12, 2012   Sharleen is presenting what she has been wanting to present for eons, it seems
                              The Virtues.

January 19, 2012   Dick is presenting Meditation on Tibetan Book of the Dead.

January 26, 2012  Till open. Anyone who has a great urge to moderate a discussion, here is your big chance.

February 2, 2012  Bake Off

February 9, 2012  Ann will be presenting one of two topics: Either Valentine's. She has a lot of antique Valentine's to share and can present their history. It would be a nostalgic meeting. OR we can read some Shel Silverstein children's poems and perhaps the Giving Tree. Decision TBA.

January 5, 2011: Bake Off. Phillip Chard's column of Dec 26: About Happiness

     As often happens at our meeting, we began this Bake Off by reading through a recent column written by Phillip Chard. But for some reason, our discussion this time went quite astray to what did seem to be an interesting topic for most people. As is often the case, there were several physicians in the group. We therefore served as each other's sounding board about our medical training.
Hit Read More to enjoy Phillip Chard's article, and to have a brief summary of what our discussion turned to.

December 8, 2011: The Psychotherapy of Dr. Carl Rogers.

     Dr. Todd D again presented some videos of the famous psychoanalyst Dr. Carl Rogers treating a patient.

First here is the YouTube video of this treatment. Portions of it were considered during this weekly meeting of the Spirit Mind Body Group.

Part I -- Gloria  Part I  --  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBkUqcqRChg
                         
Part II -- Gloria Part II -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m30jsZx_Ngs

Part III -- Gloria  Part III -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX_Y3zUPzEo

     After viewing the tapes and during it there were discussion by the group.
Todd and others presented some background on Carl Rogers and how he listens and treats people psychologically. He basically uses 5 maneuvers:
     a. suggestion
     b. manipulation
     c. abreaction (Abreaction is a psychoanalytical term for reliving an experience in order to purge it of its emotional excesses; a type of catharsis. Sometimes it is a method of becoming conscious of repressed traumatic events.)
     d. clarification
     e. interpretation
     Dr. Rogers follows the words, the action and the affect of the patient to guide his therapy, but the affect is the most important. In the case of children, there is an auxiliary superego which affects the treatment. Kids sort of ask and determine their response in treatment by asking subconsciously "What is it you wish I would say to you?" You must keep this in mind.
     Carl Rogers was initially trained in the ministry, starting in New York. He exhibits unconditional positive regard. He is truly focused in the moment during this therapy. Therefore his treatment is not totally a maneuver or technique because in the case of using a technique, it is much more difficult to be in the moment. It's almost like it is a psychological dance. Listening develops the feedback. Rogers takes the correction from the patients.But during treatment a patient comes to a point where he begins mentalizing. Also the narcissist may ride this style of therapy all day long, non stop because all the attention is to "my" feelings.
          Todd clarified some issues about Rogerian therapy. He said the present basis of analysis is Rogerian, but this style was previously held in contempt. Rogers was clearly seductive in this tape of Gloria's therapy. The view of how to get out of analysis from the patient's point of view, was to achieve "ones up man ship " with the analyst. During this treatment video of Gloria, she wants our of her conflict. She says, "I hate lying; I want to be more honest." Rogers then does clarification, one of the steps listed at the beginning. He says, "You like yourself better when you are truthful?" This helps Gloria to self define. Rogers basically believes 1, we are good, and 2. we have a natural tendency to develop.    
     There was some discussion of how treatment of children differs and what affect this auxiliary superego has on the treatment. There is obviously a need to set boundaries for children. Do we need to tell children the sexual truths of life and how toxic this world is to children. We need wisdom in setting these boundaries. Maybe some of these discussions can be postponed. "When you are 18 we will discuss this again." Is there an urgency to discuss this early. Yet some children in Milwaukee are getting raped at age 9 years old, so these "children" know about the toxic side of sex. Wisdom needs to be used in determining who and when these discussions should take place. One member commented that our kids know that adults don't always tell the complete truth, and for the most part they don't hold this against their adult parents and mentors. Look at Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny for example. We deceive our children until they are 7 or 8 years old and for the most part children accept this when they learn the truth and turn around an participate in this deception for their younger siblings and later for their own children.
      So it appears in summary, that Rogers' technique is to listen to all the words, ideas, body language etc, but also to focus on Gloria's affects and then speak to those and then listen some more. Another way to looks at this is that he ave, that is alternately applies primarily 2 of the 5 modalities listed above, basically abreaction and clarification. It has been found that interpretation is much less useful.
     Thank you to Todd for leading us in this discussion and to Dick for his notes on the discussion which were used by the author to recreate this meeting.                    

December 1, 2011: Bake Off: Phillip Chard on Differences between pleasure and happiness.

     Our bake off on this date had some real gems: First we read through Phillip Chard's recent column on the difference between pleasure and happiness. Some discussion followed this peace. Some of the discussion is printed here. Then, I believe, Paul suggested a peace from Thich Nhat Hanh's book, "Peace in Every Stem: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life" He was particularly speaking of a small meditation in the book, entitled "The Dandelion has my smile". It is reproduced here in this article as well.
Hit Read More to find these gems.

Nov 17, 2011: The Good Listener seg to Carl Rogers and his therapy.

     Our schedule said that we would be discussing the book entitled The Good Listener. This is a short easily read book which has a lot of nice little advice. However, Todd, our leader didn't think that there was a lot of discussable information here. So we were happy to know that he decided to add a little something to our meeting. He showed us a video of the famous psychoanalyst, Carl Rogers, at work treating one of his patients. We watched the film and every now and then stopped to discuss his technique to see what we could learn from it that would apply to daily living.
     The first half of this book describes what we feel when we are not heard or listened to. This creates anger and a decrease in self esteem.
     The You Tube Carl Rogers tape of his therapy for Gloria was played.
     Some of the techniques:  Let them talk and just listen. He needed to get in a frame of mind or mood of appreciation. Meditation helps this. Also the therapist needs to be genuine. He couldn't be pretending with the client even moving to a guilt for wasting the other person's time.
     In Gloria's case, she is concerned that Dr. Rogers will be harsh with her. Her previous experience has created this concern. Dr. Rogers is very quiet, gentle and he shows empathy. If he disagrees with the client he still listens and will not defend what he feels. Part of being a good listener is to reflect back what the client has said.
     During the tape, Carl Rogers  brings Gloria back to her conundrum. The best way to get to a resolution is to follow her thread. He tries to anticipate her communication needs. Dr. Rogers has been criticized for staying too superficial. But over time his methods have become the basis for psychoanalysis today.

December 15, 2011: Your Ethical Will -- Leaving a Lasting Legacy.

      On Dec 15, Eric W talked to us about one of his favorite topics about which he has written a book. He provides counseling about the process of creating this legacy.
     Ethical wills have been present since Biblical times. Jacob gathered his children around when he was on his deathbed. He then tells a story and predicts their future. What is important to him comes out in this recital.
     Several characteristics of ethical wills are prominent. Integrity is one. It is important to be you, and show that you are you. When you look at a banana, you see a banana. And when you peel a banana, you have a banana. But the question is: Who are we? What is our integrity? And that may change over time. In our political world, the media makes politicians look like they are flip flopping when truly it may just be that their ideals have changed over time. Similarly our idea of what is right and what is our integrity can change over time. We all want to have certainty. This is important enough to us to determine who we vote for. But in wills, there is material that is more contested than the money that will be distributed.

 Eric has analyzed ethical wills that have been written before and those that people would like to write. He has some suggestions for their contents. They can be summarized as follows:
H  -- Hopes for the future
E  -- Experiences in life
A -- Appreciation for the next generation
R -- Religion or Core Values.
T -- Treasures. Fill the legacy  with treasures, comfort words, or talk about death comfortably.

     To write an ethical will there are several possible ways to proceed:
1)  Just start writing. This does not have to be written as though the author were a Hemmingway or Steinbeck. It can be simple, and even crude.
2)  Include estate planning. A regular will would tell the heirs what you want them to have. For an ethical will write what you want them to know. Maybe it would be what one thing was most important to you. Maybe your happiest moment. Maybe your true definition of success.
3) Do an extensive self examination. Ask a lot of questions of yourself. One could put together a video. Some people will do this for a price. But it doesn't have to be long or beautifully written.
4) One thing to not do is write a grudge from the grave. Don't be negative and don't punish heirs or tell them what the all did wrong. These will not go over well.

     Example: A mother writes: "What I want for you all as your mother is for you all to love each other as a famly. Love Mom.
     Family leaders us these ethical wills to maybe yearly calm a family or to solve conflict.
     People are like T bags you never know what they are like until they are in hot water.

     The attendees at the meeting all had a chance to write their own ethical wills or messages to their descendents. Some people think these would be good to read to the family before your death.

     Here is a very well written ethical will by By Rabbi Monroe Levens (1908-1982), spiritual leader of Tiferet Israel Synagogue in San Diego, CA for more than 30 years. His ethical will, dealing in part with his views on life after death, is at once thought-provoking and instructional. Asking forgiveness for possible inadvertent wrongs is a recognized practice in Jewish life; is is directed to family and friends either orally or, as here, is writing. This was written in 1973.

     FAREWELL
     This is my farewell. If I have done any harsh thing to anyone in this world, I am sorry and ask to be forgiven. Of one thing I am certain: I have always enjoyed the respect, love and confidence of my brothers. And that is something, a sort of portable treasure, to take along with me wherever I go, if I go anywhere.
     It is idle to speculate about death. It is one of the "secret things" that "belong to God," But whatever else it may be, it is the end of earthly existence. However, I do not believe it is the end of the spirit or the soul. And as for immortality, I think it is for us ourselves to determine that question. I believe we are as deathless as we desire or deserve to be. And so it is possible that I may be going somewhere, spiritually.
     Life here is a great and wonderful adventure; it may be a greater and more thrilling adventure there. The spirit is at least as real, though mysterious, as the atom whose secret we have only recently penetrated. Whatever doubts I have had and I have had many even as a Rabbi, I have always been a worshiper at the shrine of the wonder of life and the universe.
     To be skeptical requires no special skill or intellectual insight. Cynicism is an expression of mental and emotional frustration. The fact that life is and always will be an enigma is no reason for despair but a challenge to faith.
     And faith is the thing we supremely need, not the blind, unthinking acceptance of the beast of the field, not resignation, but the questioning, constructive faith which makes life livable and robs death of its terror.
     My interest in Judaism, more than a perfunctory attachment, is a powerful and unshatterable allegiance to the Jewish people and the Jewish historic cause which is the cause of an emancipated humanity set free from the shackles of false ideologies and destructive idolatries.
     I have a very intense, even prophetic, conviction that the new Israel is destined to loom large in the affairs of the world.
     From my Jewish faith I have learned two things which have been the constant theme of my service as a rabbi; that you cannot build up your happiness on the unhappiness of another and second, that you get out of life no more, no less than what you put into it.
     I an not afraid to go. Of course, life with all its burdens and reverses, is sweet, and friendships, especially the joys of unforgettable family relations, are precious. I have left many things undone and tasks unfinished as all of us do when the summons comes, but in terms of years, even more than the biblically allotted three score and ten. I have lived my life and should be satisfied. I have had moments of triumph and moments of defeat. I have suffered hardships and have weathered many a storm. I have loved and I have lost. But I believe, if they could be measured in a scale, the joys would outweigh the sorrows.
     Rather than fear of the inevitable or regret in going, mine is a feeling of intellectual curiosity. I have experienced many things here, probably everything that can be experienced in this mundane sphere, except this one thing, the final curtain. Instead of dreading it, I find myself asking, "What, if anything, is it?"
    The question may never be answered. It may be complete extinction, total irrevocable oblivion. And that is something or rather a vast, impenetrable nothing, about which we cannot speculate or argue either for or against. But if there is a God, and I believe there is, a Supreme and Inscrutable Intelligence, I think He is the god of Life not death.
     Therefore with the poet, I will wrap the draperies of my couch about me and lie down, I hope to pleasant dreams.
Faithfully yours, Monroe J. Levens

WOW!

December 22, 2011: Chanukah and some of its origins, by Gloria K.

     Our good friend, Gloria K, helped us out with Chanukah this year. She gave a brief explanation of the origin of Chaukah, but assumed that we all knew the story. I thought that perhaps we don't all know the complete story so I decided to include a summary here.
     It was 164 BCE.  The Syrian or Seleucid Empire had defeated the Egyptian control of Judea. Antiochus III was King of this Empire and had a fair number of Hellenistic Jews in his empire, so he wished to appease the Jews and allowed the Jews to continue to practice their faith at home and in the Temple in Jerusalem. But when his son Antiochus IV came to power, it is historically thought that he was influenced by the Hellenistic Jews in Syria against the traditional priests and Jews in Jerusalem. He therefore removed Jewish worship from the temple, forbade circumcision, placed an idol of Zeus, the Greek God on the altar in the Temple and ordered the sacrifice of pigs on that altar. This was too much for the Jerusalem Jews.  In 167 BCE a priest by the name of Matittyahu and his 5 sons led a rebellion against the Seleucids and won control of the Jerusalem Temple. By 166 the father had died, and the youngest son Judah HaMakabi (Judah the Hammer) led the Jews into the Temple and oversaw a clean up, the building of a new altar, and then called for the re dedication of this Holy Site.This re dedication called for the burning of olive oil in oil lamps all night but it appeared that there was only enough oil for one night if that. However, a miracle occurred and the oil burned for 8 nights which is coincidentally the amount of time needed to process some new olive oil. It was then decreed that this Festival of Lights, an 8 day and night celebration should be continued yearly at this time of year to commemorate this miracle and the restoration of freedom to worship that it marks. The Holiday of Chanukah was to be celebrated  on the 25th day of the Hebrew month of Kislev. This makes Chanukah fall sometime from very late November to the end of December. This year it starts on December 29 and ends on Dec 28.
     The Chanukah Menorah or Chanukiya is different from the Jewish Menorah that represents Judaism and Israel and that stands before the Knesset in Jerusalem. That Menorah has 6 lights and the Shamash or "boss" candle which is used to light the other candles. The Chanukiya has 8 lights, one for each night of Chanukah, and the Shamash which again is the candle used to light the others. Another candle is added each night of Chaukah. The candles are lit from the right to the left and allowed to burn completely down. This is usually done when it is just dark outside. Prayers are said and often specific Chanukah songs are sung. Other customs are to eat certain foods that are fried, again calling attention to the miracle of the olive oil. Potato latkes or pancakes are fried and often served with sour cream and applesauce. Also a deep fried filled donut type pastry, usually filled with sweet preserves, and rolled in sugar are served.
     Originally money was gathered for the temple, and later donated to the teachers of Jewish youngsters. But gradually this money in the form of a few cons was given to the children of the family. Later still molded chocolate coins were covered with gold foil and given to the children of the household. In Israel the Chanukah holiday is a minor one. Children do not miss school and adults are not off work. But the Chanukah holiday has taken on much more meaning because it has to withstand the overwhelming influence of Christmas. Therefore here, some families give little gifts to the children each night of Chanukah.
     A traditional game is played on Chanukah. The dreidl is a small 4 sided top. On the sides of the top are written 4 characters, one on each side. They are Nun,, Gimel, Hey Shin which stand for Nes Gadol, Haya Sham   or A great Miracle Happened There. In Israel they sell dreidls with Nes Gadol Haya Po (Here) instead. The game is played in the following way. Each player starts with 10 - 15 coins, raisins, nuts, or candles or other markers. He then puts one into the "pot". Then the player spins the dreidl and the character that comes to the top determines what should occur. Nus - nisht -- nothing happens and the next player spins. Gimel - gants -- the player takes all of the pot. Hey - halb -- the player takes half of the pot. Shin - shel -teyn  -- the player puts one more marker into the pot. Usually a time limit is set for the game.
     The appearance of a Chanukah Menorah can look like almost anything. There are the usual traditional types of Chanukiya.

 Then there are the modern looking ones.

 Some are made to look like the Biblical looking buildings all in a row.

Here's is one that looks like a gecko -- What's that all about.

But my favorite one here is one made from dreidls. Here it is.

     Gloria led us in some meditation that took advantage of some of the Holiday spirit. Chanukah is about freedom,as represented symbolically, but commemorating the freedom to worship as one pleases. It is also about a miracle that has to do with Light. And we all know that Light at this season has special meaning, the opposite of the dark of the Winter Solstice. People were to put their burning Chanukiyah near or in their front windows so that the lights would shine out and encompass all who saw them. I am told that this IS now common practice in Israel and it is quite wonderful to walk up and down the city streets in Israel and see everyone's Chanukiyah glowing forth.

December 29, 2011: Gunther Pohlmann Society Meeting.

      Given the Holiday Season, Heidi, Gunther's daughter, entertained us for breakfast in her home. We again saw several of the photographs of Gunther and personal family photos. It was also nice to again meet with Mrs. Pohlmann. Those in attendance shared a delicious breakfast casserole, cinnamon buns, some fruit and coffee. Heidi felt bad that her coffee pot picked this AM to break, but most of us had had our cup of coffee by then. It was probably better for the rest of our day that we had only one cup. There was no agenda and we just chatted amiably about our Holiday plans and other pleasant topics. Thank you Heidi for having us.

And Happy Hanuka, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Kwanzaa.