Sharleen brought the following: Courtesy is treating others with kindness and tact. We take the time to speak and act graciously, showing people that we value and respect them. We make requests, not demands. We remember our manners, greet others warmly, and listen closely when they speak. Courtesy is a way to honor others, showing them how much they matter to us by how we treat them. Those closest to us need our courtesy most of all. Courtesy is the mirror of their value.
"See ye not, Courtesy is the true Alchemy, turning to gold all it touches and tries?" George Meredith "The Song of Courtesy"
The Practice of Courtesy:
I remember my manners.
I show others that I value and respect them.
I treat others graciously.
I make requests, not demands.
I listen attentively.
I treat my intimates with special care.
"I am thankful for the gift of Courtesy. It sweetens my relationships."
A discussion of courtesy and its lack in today's cultural world. One attendee said, "Courtesy is lovingkindness in work clothes."
Several felt that fear is an issue in the current lack of coutesy. Fear is responsible for aggression. If we meet fire with fire, instead of courtesy, the aggression escalates. It is also felt that there is a fragmentation in our day to day living due to the Internet and a reduction in face to face contact. There is less nationalism, less courtesy, and etiquette is not taught to the young anymore. We do not use honorifics to address people anymore, which perhaps allows more familiarity and less respect, and then more rudeness. What is taught in the home also has a great influence on this. Dave and Judy told how their neighborhood has developed close contacts, regular social picnics and occasions, safe Trick or Treating, and the elimination of crime and drug houses. There has been a move to develop gardens in each lot. They have named their local The Garden District.
One attendee made an interesting observation: Perhaps it is the "naming" that makes a difference, "to concretize social entities and the improvement of society." The naming of that neighborhood "The Garden District" and using honorifics may contribute more than we think to these positive changes.
In last Sunday's paper, there was an article about Marco who has a large space where he has gathered and displayed many vignettes of collectible and perhaps also non collectible objects in a very artistic way. He is now about to lose that space due to inability to pay rent. There have been many photos taken of this space and these things. Some discussion followed about what could be done to save such a collection. This particular collector is notable for his individual uniqueness. Here is a link to several dozen photos of Marco's unique gallery: http://gallery.me.com/elkon#101020
I also told the short story of Dubi Ayalon, an X Israeli Defense Force soldier, and high school principal who has moved with his wife and 8 year old son to a farm in Plain, WI and is, of all things, raising water buffalo for their milk. His story has several morals. Find the newspaper article online in Jewish Chronicle and in Journal Sentinel. Or check out my personal blog where I am soon posting the story and some photos. http://renraeretire.blogspot.com/.
Next week: Retreat at home of Ann Selzer, 10522 N. Circle Rd, Mequon, WI. Phone: 262 241 5747.
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