May 19: Tom Ryan on "Focusing"

     I am afraid our group almost didn't let Tom complete his presentation on focusing. We couldn't focus or else everyone just had a lot to contribute.

     Tom presented some ideas about focusing. He has long experience in working with people who need such instruction. Several practices for learning to focus were discussed.

     Several books came up in the discussions: Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy by Eugene Gendler.  There is a Phase I self exploration. Notice what is going on as when we do Heart Math. Then we take an inventory of our body and the inner self. Try to take control of the issues and ask the heart for guidance.

Also Working with the Dreaming Body by Mendel. In this case you amplify what you are feeling. This drives you to a different state of mind. The brainstem contracts what you don't like. So if you amplify you drive it from the brainstem to the neocortex.

     The psychologist Carl Rogers says to amplify changes what the person thinks. We tend to do opposite in psychiatry. We try to talk people out of bad feelings, and make people pick out good things to think about if they are depressed. By amplifying, we can change the thinking.

     Another model outlines that you enter into a dialogue with parts of your body, as in negotiation. Get two sides to agree on what they disagree on. We don't realize that two parts of us can be fighting  with each other. We denigrate ourselves when we think about this. If you can embrace your two different sides, it allows freedom.

     Anger sometimes comes up frequently in our discussions. We all agree sometimes anger is hard to let go. On the other hand, you do need to deal with anger for a while. You need to face it, and not get rid of it too soon. It is a fallacy that you can get stuck on anger. The only way you get stuck on anger is that you deny it. If you are inviting it in to deal with it, you must experience the feelings associated with that anger, not just verbalize it. Anger is a very basic feeling, but we need to ask: "What fear am I feeling? What am I afraid of?"
Religion tells us to deny the anger, or ignore it, or give it to God, but organized religion usually doesn't encourage us to embrace or accept the anger.