A Bonus: Consideration of Tonglen

     I found this single page of guidance in the practice of Tonglen, lying around our home meeting place, the Mindfulness Center of Milwaukee. I would suspect that it was written by Paul N.

     Tonglen, The Practice of sending and taking.

     Tonglen is an old Tibetan practice for the development of compassion. It basically consists of a visualization of other's suffering and learning to transform it.  There are many good authors who talk extensively about tonglen. Pema Chodron is one of my favorite teachers who explores this method. It is a bit presumptuous to try to summarize this practice in just a few words, but I will try. If you find this useful, I strongly recommend you read further.

     The important part of tonglen is the wide open bodhicitta heart. If our hearts are small, then when we experience discomforts, we are unable to handle it, like a glass of water becoming undrinkable with a handful of salt in it. If our hearts are large, we are like the river that flows along unphased by the handful of salt, open to accepting. How do we get there?  Practice, Practice, Practice.

     There are four parts:

     First we open our minds and hearts as wide a we can, what is sometimes called bodhicitta. By being centered and calm, we do our best to open up to the wide world of sentient beings around us.

     Secondly, we work with the visualization of breathing. We see ourselves breathing in a hot, gritty, dark, smelly substance. We exhale something cool, fresh, light and sweet smelling.

     Thirdly, we imagine ourselves being with a person who is suffering, be it physical, emotional, or whatever. Using the great vehicle of our breath, along with our wide open heart, we take in their suffering and breathe out comfort, compassion, and lovingkindness.

     Fourthly, we extend this compassionate heart. We can give our comfort to those like the single person we visualized, i.e., if that person had AIDS, we might visualize and try to transform the suffering of all people with AIDS. If we feel adventurous, we might extend our thoughts and energy to all who suffer.

     Tonglen is certainly a daunting practice. it takes some courage and some patience. It does not usually feel as easy as metta practice. But it can be very powerful.

     Tonglen can be done for oneself as well. If you feel uncomfortable, or don't feel you are grounded enough to do this well, you might start with tonglen for yourself.

     Tonglen and Anger:
     When confronted with an angry person, it is useful, if you can, to extend kindness to that person. This is where gounding in tonglen may help. Imagine that you are breathing in that person's distress and energy, and breathing out calmness. If nothing else, you might feel calmer and more ready to make the right decisions, without being hijacked by emotions.