July 14, 2011: Leaving Lasting Legacies: by Eric W.

     Eric has presented to us before about leaving an inheritance of values and intangibles to our heirs. This idea is a special interest of his and he does counseling to help families and individuals put together in words the values that they want passed on to their loved ones. Eric led a discussion today about just this topic. This form of legacy is called an ethical will. It is usually shared with loved ones before death but sometimes it is included in the will that transfers financial wealth as well.
    Follows some of the discussion at this session, led by Eric.
     When wealth is transferred, 70% of time the next generation loses it all -- money and the family relationship. By the third generation, 90% will fail at legacy planning. To be among the successful in this area, the element of communication is the most important, and accounts for at least 60% of the successes.
     Typically what is hard to pass on is the work ethic. If children are given a lot of things and money, through the work of their parents, they may not desire to work as much themselves. Warren Buffet, third wealthiest person in the world in 2011, set an example of this. He is reported to have given his children enough to get along well, but not so much that they couldn't get along.
     In his teaching on this matter, Eric uses the acronym, VOICE
     V  -- values and vision
     O  -- openness
      I  -- inclusiveness.  Successful families find a way.
     C --  calm connected communication
     E -- emotional neutrality

     If the only focus is on financial capitol, it often makes the passing on of that capitol negative. The word wealth derives from wellness. Unfortunately greed and other negative emotions passed on in traditional wills create the wrong atmosphere for loved ones to receive the good intentions of the deceased. The idea that a legacy can be passed on in an ethical will right along with the financial interests. Wisdom can bridge the gap. With a legacy will or ethical will we pass on values.
     One of the principles of an ethical will is integrity. As the writer who has it, we want to pass it on. We want to communicate an idea such as: When you peel a banana, have you ever gotten anything but a banana. Be inside what you appear to be on the outside. This is an example of a value that could be passed on in an ethical will. You don't have to be Hemingway to write an ethical will. The word HEART will guide you:

     H -- Hopes for future
     E -- Experiences in life, what you have learned
     A -- Appreciation
     R -- Religious idea, spirituality
     T -- Treasures

     DON"T: Script live of others
                   Grudge from the Grave
                   Be negative

     DO:  Write words from the heart
              Consider strong ethical questions in the ethical will.      

Here are two other links that are worth looking at in addition to using Eric's vast knowledge and experience in this area:

     http://www.genspring.com/documents/Passing-on-Values-to-the-Next-Generation-Ellen-Perry-GenSpring.pdf

     http://www.ethicalwill.com/index.html